Wow have I been gone long? Days 13-18, August 8-August 17, 2010

Wow I have been extremely busy...I've been so tired I fall asleep before I can get on to post.  Between that and trying to finish up my homework (my last day of these mind-wasting classes is August 27th! Yay!)  I made a long trip to Canton on Sunday, just to see my lovely cousin and MOH for a tupperware party and to drop Hailey off to spend the night with her "Aunt" Amber.  Then I had my fireman's training last night from 7-10.  That was fun but also tiring.  I did really well, though!  I've been a member since December 2009 and I'm going to trainings to not only learn the ropes but to exercise.  Last night we had 4 teams of 4 people, and our job was to "donn" our gear (put our gear on as fast as we could- I did like 35 seconds for pants, boots, jacket, helmet and gloves).  Then we quickly decided how to "attack"- I was sent to hook up the hydrant while one ran the pump and 2 ran the hose.  The whole object was to knock over 3 pins that were 75 feet away using water.  Whichever team did it the slowest had to clean up from training.  Well me team consisted of Danny (a returning firefighter who had been on hiatus), Doug (a newbie), Suzie (a jr firefighter- underage) and me (another newbie).  We managed to accomplish the task the fastest with a time of 3 min 29 sec.  Suzie and I was ecstatic.  We beat the CHIEF, TRAINING OFFICER, and SAFETY OFFICER and they were the ones who told us what we were going to do and did their own run to show us how to do it.  Well we spanked their ass!  They said you had 4 people and we only had 2- well I said, yeah, we had 2 GIRLS who didn't know what the hell we were doing, either.  Its a nice gloat!

I FINALLY got the WalMart check!  Yay!  I have one bill taken care of, and I ordered over $100 in clothes today!  At first I felt guilty but then I have to remember I've lost almost 30 pounds over the summer and nothing fits me.  It would SO not be cool for me to walk into a classroom full of kids and have my pants fall down!  Lol that really happened to me this summer (except for walking into a classroom full of kids).  I was working out on the wii and couldn't stop or my score would screw up.  Well in the middle of the parade routine while my fiance and daughter were watching me my shorts just fell to my ankles!  Now they've both seen me in my underwear (obviously) but for some reason they thought that was hilarious and I never turned such a dark shade of red in my entire life! :)

I've also been spending a lot of time on the Wedding Buzz app for facebook.  Lets just say I'm hoping to make some major changes there.

This is a picture of my Grandfather and my daughter taken last christmas.  He is the one that will be walking me down the aisle...347 days from now!  Yikes!

This is my stepfather with my little girl.  She loves all her grandpa's!  For my father-daughter dance I plan on splitting it 3 ways, between my father, step-father, and my grandfather.  My grandfather raised me, my father created me, and my stepfather paid for whatever I wanted!

Ok I know this is totally gross and completely random, but I like looking at the dead fish that washed up on shore, and I take pictures of them too.  They have their own file on my computer!

Another totally random picture...My dearest fiance Dan with our friends newborn (2 month old) baby.  He's going to make a good daddy someday.  His father saw me take this picture and he said, "You have a baby...now that's a scary sight!" lol.

Last but not least I did get to take this pic of our wedding site.  I'm pretty sure the last one I posted was one from March when there were no leaves on the trees.  This is where our ceremony will be, overlooking Gorgeous Lake Ontario!

Day 10, 11, 12- August 10-12, 2010

Wow.  I have been really stressing!  My money is nowhere in sight...I have been told that the earliest I can expect my financial aid is september.  September- when this is my SUMMER financial aid for classes that end in August...  I should've gotten it way before now and because my college screwed up and used white-out on one of my award letters it had to get sent back to me, so I could resign and send it back.  Now the lady from that award company is telling me that I need to wait 10 weeks, from June 30- after I originally turned in the award letters June 10th- all because some dumb twit invalidated my letter by using white-out.  Now instead of buying wedding stuff, I have to pay my bills up- before I lose my cable (I need for college) and my phone (I need period!)  My FH went and asked his father for money to pay the light bill up- and never told me about it.  I had to find out from his sister that he did this.  He just took a new job 3 weeks ago, but its part-time, for $8 an hour, and I don't go back to work for 11 days.  The only reason I can think he did this is because he had to wait 2 weeks for his first paycheck (the whole "holding the first week" thing).  Other than that I don't know and why the hell didn't he tell me?!  I makes me upset to think he won't come tell me what is going on- I just moved in with him last October and everything except the phone and heat are in his name so I don't read the mail but he doesn't share them with me either.  Since I found out about him asking his father for money I've felt like shit.  I'm on unemployment and can barely keep my bills caught up let alone give him money (which I do when I'm working).  It just sucks and I have this $1800 coming from the school (although now not until September) and $500 from Walmart (but that idiot man won't answer his phone or return my phone calls).  I am desperate but Dan told me to not take a job this summer because that was the whole reason I took my job, so I could have the summer off.  Too late to take a job now, I go back in 11 days!  My mother is looking for a cheap cell phone so I can downgrade from my droid that's how bad this is getting.  I have over $2000 and I can't touch it and it really pisses me off!  Did I mention I hate New York State?  Because the idiots in Albany couldn't pass the budget I haven't been able to even see my financial aid online until last week.  I was also reading an article on yahoo about the top 20 worst paying jobs, and wouldn't you know my profession is on the top of the list?  And the worst part is the beginning salary they listed...I don't make HALF that much!  I hate having money problems and I wouldn't have had them if NY could get their head out of their ass and look at what they are doing to us little people!

So this is my kitty Pickles.  She is a boy lol.  I requested a girl kitty because I already had a girl kitty and don't need more babies.  So this woman swore uphill and downhill that this cat was a girl.  Well 2 weeks ago we caught this cat going after the other and its little sac has started to drop!  Hope there are no kittens in the future!  Another thing I need to get fixed but have to wait for that stupid check to get here!

This is my other kitty, Bambi.  I rescued her off of Craigslist (Pickles I got from a woman at work).  This poor kitty was 10 months old when I got her.  When we went to pick her up she was kept indoors, in a dark house with the blinds drawn shut, 3 kids under the age of 4, and another cat running around.  She was soo skiddish she didn't want anything to do with us when we got her.  Now she still won't let us pick her up and she won't lay on us, but she will let us pet her.  Poor baby girl.  I love her though!

These are my wedding candles I'm making as part of my table decor.  I just bought silk flower petals and hot glued them to the bottom of the glass votive.  I have these ones in pink, and I still need more in different colors- maybe purple and peach.  Since I'm using the long banquet tables I have a nice centerpiece for the middle, then I will line these up on either side of the centerpiece, so they are in a straight line down the length of the table (maybe 3 or 4 on each side of the main centerpiece).  Then I'm going to get the little mirror squares and put one under every other candle to make it more reflective.

Day 9, August 9, 2010

So not a whole heck of a lot went on today.  Went shopping, came home, ate lunch, sent Dan off to work, went to the fireman's meeting, came home, now chillin'.  I did manage to write my thank you note for my scholarship so I can turn that in tomorrow and get more money for school.  It is soo nice!

 My dear fiance came up with a nice idea for the wedding.  I want to do table numbers and a seating chart (my mom doesn't want me to but too bad for her).  We want to number the tables 1-15, and using those tri-fold picture frames the number in the middle frame and put a picture of us at that age in the side frames, then just reserve the parents' tables for them.  We think that is a really cool idea... seeing our dorky pictures lol.  I'm ever so patiently waiting to get one of my big money checks in the mail here soon!  I'm looking at wedding ring sets at walmart for me and a small band for Dan (that's all he says he wants).  Then I can give this ring back to my friend. 

The story of my ring.  My fiance proposed to me (nothing special...sorry) on Friday December 18, 2009.  He got fired from work Monday December 21, 2009.   Before he proposed (like a month before) my (older) friend knew I was getting antsy from waiting for a proposal and she let me try on her first engagement ring (her husband has bought her a beautiful wedding ring set since then- they've been married 25 years now) and told me that if Daniel ever asks me I can have it.  Well when he proposed to me I thought she was kidding and we went looking for rings.  She texted me one night to see what I was doing and I told her I was looking at rings online cuz Daniel popped the question.  She flipped right out then solded me because she told me I can have hers.  I asked her if she wanted it for one of her girls and she said, "Shayla, I consider you one of my girls".  I just about lost it crying from her sweetness.  Well she gave me the ring and we set the date.  She asked me what date we picked and I told her July 30, 2011.  Then SHE started bawling because come to find out that is her and her DH's wedding anniversary! ( I seriously had no idea)
But now I think I can get a nice bridal set and wear that engagement ring, so she can have hers back. I just hope she doesn't get offended if I try to give back to her- I really don't want to hurt her feelings.  I love her dearly, but I also want something special that Dan and I can say is ours and not feel guilty.  It has been a blessing having this ring, or else I'd be an engaged lover with no ring. 

Ok I thought I had a pic of my ring on my computer but I lied.  This pic is of my father, new stepmother, and my 2 little brothers- on my father's wedding day.  Now everyone in the pic is married...except for me.  How sad is that- I'm the oldest and the only unwed one.

Day 7 and 8, August 7 and 8, 2010

So I got back home today about 2pm.  We had a good weekend at my father's house and my brother's wedding.  Some things didn't go right and I just laughed them off.  We went out after and got stinking drunk- without the bride and groom because they were leaving at 3am to head to Watkins Glen for the race...part of their honeymoon. 

So I got home and in the mail I found a letter from my college.  6 months ago I applied for a scholarship and totally forgot about it.  I WON IT!!! $1800 for the next school year!  And just in time for the wedding!  I am getting a little irritated because I have all this money coming in; it just hasn't come in yet!  I'm STILL waiting on my financial aid check from my summer classes (coming any day now), the guy from Walmart is sending me $500 to fix my car (but we can't seem to get in contact other than phone tag), and now this $1800 that will be split; $900 for the fall and $900 for the spring.  Hey- extra wedding money is how I look at it!  In NY, pretty much if you are a single mom the state will pay for your education through the TAP grant, which I get.  Then add the federal grant I get and now this scholarship- any money not used on bills or books I get in a refund check...which means I can use it for anything I want- including wedding stuff!  Sometimes it does pay to go to school lol.

This is my brother Kenny that got married yesterday, with my little Haileybug as his flower girl.  This was during the dollar dance.  Soo cute!  She went around to everyone in the fire hall and ended up thiefing $10 or so to keep dancing with her Uncle Kenny :)  She was a beautiful flower girl and I can't wait to see that bright smile at my own wedding.

As I said, this is the pic that my friend put on her slideshow at her wedding.  She don't know it but it made me feel 10 ft tall having this pic in her show.  I was soo skinny then!  Hope I can get there again! 

Day 6, August 6,2010

So I'm posting for today but I won't post again until Sunday.  We are going out of town for my little brother's wedding that I don't want to happen.  None of us in my family (my father's side) do.  A little back story:  mother and father were never married and I lived with my grandparents.  My father lived (and still does live) 2 houses down, on the next hill.  I would go up there every 2-3 weeks to see my dad, stepmom and 2 younger brothers.  Many of you probably already read this on facebook but I still think something needs to be done.  First his soon-to-be wife started drama over Hailey being the flower girl for her wedding being as my aunt is also getting married tomorrow and asked too but since my brother's fiance asked first I had to turn my aunt down. Well, then there was the invitation thing- she didn't invite me, HIS ONLY SISTER, to the ceremony, just the reception and when I called her on it, she claimed she "forgot", although when I asked her about the ceremony and what time it is and where its at she told me she didn't send me one at all- she was changing her story to make herself look good.  I sure as hell got an invite to the wedding shower though!  Half of my family isn't going- his grandparents (his mom's side) aren't going- they weren't invited to the ceremony either.  Our Aunt Angie was only invited to the reception too, so she's not going.  Its ridiculous.  My brother doesn't realize what he's getting into and I am still praying that he doesn't show up tomorrow. Since she wanted to be such a tightwad and make sure she gets all her gifts, we got them a card, but we aren't putting any money into it- we usually give $20 but after the crap I had to go through, NO.  Be stingy and watch what happens!  I hate to be like that toward my brother.  My father and brother (I live 2 hours away and can't get up there in a snap) have tried intervening and told him that someday he will be happy, only with half his stuff.  This whole thing is going to be a nightmare and the only reason I am going is because he is my brother.  She's upset because we can't make it to rehearsal, but we'll be there for the dinner.  Sorry, but I have to babysit till 4:30 and it takes 2 hours to get up there.  That puts us there at 6:30- the time that dinner starts.  Most normal people have a rehearsal at 7 and do a late dinner afterward.  Not my fault nor my problem.  My Hailey has been in 5 weddings as a flower girl and she's only 5 years old.  I'm sure she understands how to walk down the aisle and sprinkle petals on the ground.  AAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!  I've heard about her hitting him when she's mad, throwing full-blown punches on him.  He won't do anything back or do anything about it because she's a woman.  Now let me tell you, my ex hit me just once and I knocked him to the floor, said if he EVER hit me again I'd make sure he didn't get back up the next time.  It really concerns me that she does this- we never get to see him because of her; she makes it a point to make them leave their house when she knows we are coming up.  My father would call him and tell him we were coming, so she would sit there and say they weren't going to be home but would say they didn't know what they were doing yet once they left.

Now a few years ago, my step-grandmother's nephew was harrased by his girlfriend, much like my brother's fiance does to him.  He went to the school principal who wouldn't do anything, tried breaking up with her, the works.  She threatened if he left she'd kill herself.  So what happened?  He went into the woods and shot himself in the face-just because no one would help and he thought if the rest of his life was going to be like that he didn't want life at all.  Now like I said I have no idea what goes on 24/7 because I'm not there, but none of us really knows what does.  Its a scary thought.  Let her lay one finger on him in front of me and I'll knock her teeth down her throat to the point she'll be eating her own ass!

So for a pic today,

This wedding makes me think of a happier time.  This is me with my friend Ashley.  We were bestest buds in High School.  We have kept in touch ever since.  She moved to Pittsburgh where she went to college and she and her now husband have decided to stay and live there.  Her wedding was amazing and we had an awesome time getting out of New York, even if it was just for 2 days!  She is still a great friend and I can't wait to see her at our wedding!  Even during her slideshow she had at the wedding, she had a picture of us on there, back from high school, in our dresses, ready for homecoming- my senior year and her junior.  It was so great to see that even after being out of school going on 10 years (yikes!) that our friendship is still strong, even though we live 8 hours apart. Since I will have to post 2 pics on Sunday I will post the homecoming pic.  Its not the greatest pic cuz I took a pic of the slideshow screen, but you can still see its us! Hope you all have a great weekend; I know I know, I will try too!

Day 4 and 5, August 4th and August 5th 2010

So another day I ended up missing.  I have an 8-10 page research paper due this Sunday and I was up late working on it.  I have almost 5 pages done, just 5 more to go.  I can't wait for this summer semester to be done and over with!  Ugh.  In one class I had 8 7 page papers due, another I've had 4 5-7 page papers due, this 8-10 page paper, and a special project, and a third class that has had 8 more papers of the same size as the others.  This has been the worst semester ever!  I know I'm going to enjoy my classes this fall though; I got my college books a couple days ago.  One class I'm taking is "Discovering Math Across Generations".  My books?...2 ELEMENTARY MATHBOOKS!  That class sure better be easy!  I'm also taking Family and Society, and Attachment and Separation (for child development).  I'm also taking Scene Support through a different college for the fire department.  To top the load off I go back to work in 3 weeks.  This job at Head Start has been the best job ever!  I work the end of August to the first week of June, with the same exact vacations as the school (and my child), including SUMMER! 

     This summer...I've been babysitting, working on all these papers, doingweight watchers...I've still had NO time for other things- like cleaning my house, hanging out at the beach (in my back yard), taking my little girlie places etc. 

So what pictures can I show today?
 

This is the beach that is in my back yard...rather the picnic area at the beach.  This pic was taken in March, before the leaves came in on the trees.  I have another pic I will put up later on of this spot with the green grass and the trees are in full bloom.  It is a really pretty site in the summer and this is where we are going to have our ceremony- weather permitting of course.

There is a great story about this pic!  The true idea of someting great coming out of something crappy.  This is the seat of my car (obviously).  I took my car to the tire/lube express at Walmart in May to get my oil changed before we went on our trip to Pittsburgh PA for memorial weekend and my bestest friend's wedding.  Well not to mention it took them over 3 hours to finish my car (and I was in a rush for a date with FH that night) I just jumped in as soon as it was done and raced home.  This is what I found when I got there- a mother effin rip in my seat!  I was hott!  I called drove right back to Walmart the next day and complained- this rip was NOT THERE when I came in; then the manager tried to tell me the rip looked "old" and I said, "uh...no its called my seat is dirty" lol.  So they sent my claim in and the guy just called me yesterday and left me a message.  They are sending me a $500.00 check to get my seat fixed! That's awesome!  We won't tell them that a new seat is only $180-$250 and I can put it in myself!  Now if my financial aid check would hurry the hell up and get here I'd be all set!

Day 3 and 4, August 2nd and 3rd 2010

I was so tired last night I forgot to post, so I'll do double today.  Geez...on top of all my classes through Empire, I was asked to take two FEMA classes, ICS (Incident Command System) 100 and 700, and after I'll be taking Scene Support through Jefferson Community College for the fire department I belong to.  My fiance is an EMT-B for our department, so I am going to become a firefighter, so when there is an ambulance call he can go and if there's a fire all I can go- that way my daughter will always be taken care of by someone.

So I passed one ICS class last night (they only take 3 hours to finish) and I did a 5 page paper for American Labor History.  I can't wait for that class to be done- in 3 more weeks!  Then I have 3 more I'm taking on top of scene support.  That makes 15 credit hours for me...on top of working full time, and my kid and future husband...that's a lot.  I'll manage to make it through- I always do.  I want to finish college (it means a $5.00 an hour pay raise when I do!) And I also want to actively participate in the fire department.  Plus one hand washes the other.  All my fire classes will count as electives toward my Community & Human Services degree, so I can't really complain.

So enough with that.  My mother called me yesterday- Hailey's necklace is in!  For our wedding ceremony, my mother will do a reading about the symbolism of the Guardian Angel for my daughter, then my wonderful future husband is going to present her with a guardian angel necklace.  My mother ordered it (a beautiful  round blue cameo surrounded by silver and it has 4 amethysts on each corner of the silver)- she said its even more beautiful in person that it is online!  Dan will be putting this on her, and saying some cute little vow to her about loving her and taking good care of her.

And of course, what would this pretty necklace be without this beautiful little girl to put it on?  This is my daughter Hailey.  She will be 6 in 3 weeks, almost 7 by time we get married.  Dan has been in her life since before she was potty trained! lol.  She is one of my 2 flower girls- my "fairy" girls actually.  We want to get them cute fairy costumes rather than flower girl dresses and sprinkle fairy dust down the aisle rather than flower petals- You know we just HAVE to be different!

All of my ideas for my wedding keep floating around in my mind.  As beautiful as the picture in my imagination is, I hope I can bring that picture to life on our wedding day!